Trump, Musk Unveil Lame Plan to Save Social Security by Dismantling It Entirely
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WASHINGTON D.C.
February 19, 2025
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In a groundbreaking effort to streamline government waste, President Donald Trump and self-appointed "Efficiency Overlord" Elon Musk announced this week that they will save Social Security the only way they know how, by tearing it to shreds. Under the newly established Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), Musk has demanded access to sensitive Social Security data, prompting Acting Commissioner Michelle King to resign rather than hand over the keys to the nation’s retirement piggy bank.
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"Look, Social Security is a bloated mess," Musk barked while launching a new cryptocurrency called MakeBelieveCoin to replace traditional benefits. "If you’re not an AI programmer or the third richest man on Mars, should you really be receiving checks at all?"
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Critics argue the real goal is to gut the livin' shit out of Social Security entirely, with Musk reportedly pitching a 'Hunger Games Style" solution where seniors battle for survival to prove their eligibility. Despite their claims of widespread fraud, actual improper payments account for less than 1% of total benefits, an administrative wet hiccup more than a criminal enterprise. But facts haven’t deterred the lard ass duo, who are already brainstorming catchier slogans like "No Workie, No Checkie."
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"If Democrats don’t push back now, the next thing you know, your grandma will be livestreaming her plea for cat food on X," warned one congressional aide, clutching a guide to surviving dystopia.
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Meanwhile, insiders suggest Musk is eyeing Medicare as his next target, with plans to replace it with a Tesla branded health app that only works if you stand next to a SpaceX charging station. Congress faces mounting pressure to stop the chaos before Social Security goes the way of affordable housing or, worse, MySpace.
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Americans are urged to contact their representatives immediately, because if these two idiots have their way, retirement will soon be a thing of the past, much like democracy itself.
Next stop - State's voter databases!
Onward, Christian soldiers!
Funny discovery, but will more digging ever be done to find-out WHERE the millions of taxpayer's dollars go every month ??? ...🤔🤔🤔
Maybe too embarassing ...
for a certain group of Chosen Ones ...
Trump, Musk Unveil Lame Plan to Save Social Security by Dismantling It Entirely
----------
WASHINGTON D.C.
February 19, 2025
----------
In a groundbreaking effort to streamline government waste, President Donald Trump and self-appointed "Efficiency Overlord" Elon Musk announced this week that they will save Social Security the only way they know how, by tearing it to shreds. Under the newly established Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), Musk has demanded access to sensitive Social Security data, prompting Acting Commissioner Michelle King to resign rather than hand over the keys to the nation’s retirement piggy bank.
----------
"Look, Social Security is a bloated mess," Musk barked while launching a new cryptocurrency called MakeBelieveCoin to replace traditional benefits. "If you’re not an AI programmer or the third richest man on Mars, should you really be receiving checks at all?"
----------
Critics argue the real goal is to gut the livin' shit out of Social Security entirely, with Musk reportedly pitching a 'Hunger Games Style" solution where seniors battle for survival to prove their eligibility. Despite their claims of widespread fraud, actual improper payments account for less than 1% of total benefits, an administrative wet hiccup more than a criminal enterprise. But facts haven’t deterred the lard ass duo, who are already brainstorming catchier slogans like "No Workie, No Checkie."
----------
"If Democrats don’t push back now, the next thing you know, your grandma will be livestreaming her plea for cat food on X," warned one congressional aide, clutching a guide to surviving dystopia.
----------
Meanwhile, insiders suggest Musk is eyeing Medicare as his next target, with plans to replace it with a Tesla branded health app that only works if you stand next to a SpaceX charging station. Congress faces mounting pressure to stop the chaos before Social Security goes the way of affordable housing or, worse, MySpace.
----------
Americans are urged to contact their representatives immediately, because if these two idiots have their way, retirement will soon be a thing of the past, much like democracy itself.
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